So today across the country the soon to be graduates of my University checked their student records for the last results day of their lives. (Unless like myself they are opting into a masters) I am among those graduates and today all of the nerves, all of the work all of the fun of the past three years were revealed to me. Collated and calculated the most recent years of my life come down to a number,
I will be graduating from Aberyswyth University with a 2:1 BA in Film and Television studies. For a lot of people in better universities who have undertaken courses with a more academic focus getting a higher grade this probably doesn’t seem like a lot. However all the worrying over my dissertation, my final film and my final script have left me proud and relieved to be where I am.
Now that doesn’t mean I don’t understand the reality of my situation.I still don’t know what to do with my life. I took an easy course at what isn’t the best University. I took a course that is not taken seriously by most people, often even people in similar fields. I have no idea where I’m going. It’s not the best job prospects. I didn’t get the best grade I could have. I am in over £30,000 debt.
Yet I sit here writing away, filled with pride, joy and excitement. Whilst many of these things I lack are the perceived aim of going to University there is much more to life and a lot more to be gained from higher education. I took a course that I enjoyed and that I am truly passionate about. I learnt about some things I definitely do not want to do with my life. I ended up realizing what I really value about those around me and have surrounded myself with some absolutely amazing people. I gained some really useful non-academic skills: I’m more confident, I can look after myself and I can write better than I ever have in my life. (Though I still have a way to go.)
Most importantly these past three years I have explored myself. My world view is nothing like that of when I left home. I am not afraid to tell someone that something is wrong. Now I am more driven than I have ever been.
I have to say that I think a lot of people miss the point. Our lives are not a number on a page, they are not where we grew up or we went to school. They are not for others opinions to dictate. Our lives are for us, to do what we love and to be the best people we can be. They are to be lived through our own decisions. I cannot say I couldn’t have worked harder but I can say all of the time effort and tears I did put in were worth it.
No matter what we need to remember that at the end of the day, the worst we can do is fail. Then pick ourselves back up and carry on. The world will not end. We are still ourselves.